Sleepovers

...are evil?  Did I miss something?

Before I had Punky, I knew everything about having kids.  Once I actually made it through a full pregnancy and brought my little bundle home, I quickly discovered that in reality I knew nothing.  There were so many things I never even considered.  I never had any reason to do so.

Soon after the positive pregnancy test, I found a parenting / pregnancy board online and started reading.  I followed the stories of other women who were expecting babies around Punky's due date, but never posted myself...mainly because I was absolutely terrified I would suffer another loss.  I didn't even want to tell my family about my pregnancy, yet alone complete strangers.

The website also has a debate board that I still read whenever I can sneak a few minutes.  While no topic is off-limits, most of the posts revolve around kids, parenting, and family life in one way or another.  Some of the regular posters can be brutal, and some debates get extremely heated, but it certainly makes for interesting reading.  I have remained in the shadows, in the happy world of lurkdom, because I have no time for another obsession.  I know the minute I'd open my mouth and throw my hat in the ring, I'd be fully consumed by debate.  And I simply can't afford the distraction; I barely have time to write as it is.

Over the last few years, the board has covered most of the hot-button issues in the parenting world.  To vax or not to vax, to spank or not to spank, rear-facing vs. forward-facing, and so on... Sometimes the debates reinforce my thoughts, sometimes they prompt me to do additional research on a subject, and in a handful of cases I have even switched sides as a result.  And Punky's dad could tell you that's no easy feat, given that fact that I'm stubborn and always right...

Anyway, to get to the point, lately it seems like many of the debates on the board end up on the topic of sleepovers.  I never thought sleepovers were a debatable issue.  Growing up in my world, sleepovers were the norm.  Everyone did it.  All little girls had a sleepover birthday party at some point.  It wasn't odd.  It wasn't taboo.  It wasn't unnecessary.  It was part of growing up...sort of a rite of passage.

When I was really young, my cousins would usually end up sleeping over most holidays.  In elementary school, sleepover parties were all the rage.  In junior high, I think I slept at a friend's house or had a friend sleep at mine almost every Friday night.  The sleepovers continued through high school, and even into college.  There were rules, of course, like not on a school night, no prank calling people, no loud music, and we had to be "quiet" so the rest of the house could actually sleep, etc.  Sleepovers were expected.  They were completely normal behavior...or so I always thought.

Based on the comments of the women on the board, there is an anti-sleepover movement sweeping the nation.  And I just can't grasp it.  So many say they just "don't do" sleepovers.  They don't allow it.  Sleepovers are unnecessary.  Unnatural.  One poster even said it would only expose her child to the dysfunction in other families.  Huh?

Don't get me wrong, I can totally understand not allowing it if there is an obvious safety concern.  If no parents will be home, if the kids are welcome to help themselves to the liquor cabinet, if the step-father was arrested for child pornography, if there are guns and drugs all over the house, if the mother is a hooker and entertains gentlemen at home on the dining room table while the kids watch Finding Nemo in the living room...all perfectly understandable reasons to politely decline the invitation.  But other than those types of concerns, what harm can come from a handful of giggly eight-year-old girls sleeping over a friend's house?  I have to be missing something.

As Punky grows up, I have an infinite list of worries ahead of me.  So many choices, so many dangers, so many things to consider.  I know it's still early in my parenting days, but the thought of her asking to have a friend sleep over when she's older doesn't even remotely hit my radar as a potential threat to her well-being.

I did it.  My friends did it.  We are healthy, stable, well-adjusted, functioning members of society.  We don't stay up till dawn every night, we brush our teeth, we get up for work in the morning, and no matter how strong the temptation, we generally refrain from squirting shaving cream into the hands of sleeping people and then tickling their noses.  Well, most of the time anyway.  Everyone has "off" days.

Say, is your refrigerator running?