I Survived

One year ago today I was tossed haphazardly into my current position at work.  Hard to believe it's been that long already.  Apparently, I've survived.

A year ago I had my doubts.  I was stressed, overwhelmed, and struggling to learn everything I needed to know as quickly as possible.  Whenever I find myself in a particularly uncomfortable situation, I always wish I could fast forward a year to sneak a glimpse of how things will work out, you know, to see if there is a light at the end of the tunnel or if the current situation will end in disaster.  It's the same annoying trait that causes me to read the last page of a novel before I even start the first chapter.  I just feel better knowing what direction things are headed.  As I've stated before, spontaneity and surprises aren't my cup of tea.  

Now my job is, well, a job.  It pays the bills but I wouldn't say I love it.  Some parts I enjoy, others not so much.  It still has the power to stress me out, but most of the time it's rather...dull.  I hate to admit that my old boss was right.  She predicted I'd be bored in a year in this position.  It's just very confining.  I mean, there is so much that can be accomplished in my job, so many ways to improve and save the company tons of money, but their family-owned "no one can sneeze without seven meetings, fifteen signatures, and a change of seasons" mentality has left me to twiddle my thumbs and wait for my boss to eventually pull my ideas to the top of his thousand-page pile of things he needs to run by the family before I can take any action.  It's simply frustrating.

Even more frustrating is knowing that I'm doing a good job, yet still make less than my predecessor.  How I know that isn't important, but the fact that I do stings every time I think about it.  And I can't help but help but think about it.  I know what that office was like when it was dumped on me; I'm still cleaning up the mess a year later. 

Given the economic state of the company right now, there is no opportunity to move to another position.  I'm stuck.  Lately I've been looking around to see what other opportunities exist in the world.  It's just not as easy as it was pre-Punky.  There is so much more to consider than before.  And I hate the thought of starting over yet again.  So I guess I'll wait it out a bit longer, at least through the summer since our vacation is planned.  Hopefully the economy will improve by fall and there will be more options available.  I've gone nowhere but backwards in this company; it may be time to cut my losses and move on.