Someone Like Me

A representative from one of our largest suppliers was in last week for a regularly scheduled quarterly meeting.  We've met several times before but never engaged in much personal chit-chat.  This time, after the meeting, she stopped by my office to pick up some defective samples and it resulted in an hour long discussion.  And what a great conversation it was.

She noticed Punky's pictures and started asking the usual stuff... her name, age, if I want any more kids, and so on.  She had her first child at thirty-eight, and second just shy of forty-one after starting the IVF process.  They were waiting for the start of her next cycle to begin the injections but, to their utter surprise, that cycle never came because she was already pregnant.  Her kids are now four and seven. 

We had a great discussion about the challenges and benefits of tackling motherhood for the first time with the advanced maternal age label.  The doctors' term, not mine.  We also talked about the demands of being a full-time working mom and the delicate dance we do every day to balance it with home life.  Once we started talking, it felt like I had known her for years.

As she spoke, I heard my exact thoughts and perspectives as if she were reading my mind.  It was so nice to have someone... understand.  Someone who walked this path ahead of me.  Someone who has been in my shoes.  Someone who knows.

She knows how scary it is to try to plan for college tuition that will be due right as retirement is supposed to start.  She knows what it's like to need to work full time while longing to stay home with her kids.  She knows what it's like to be ten to fifteen years older than most of the other parents at school functions.  She knows how hard it is to resist the urge to slap someone who innocently assumes your beautiful baby is your grandchild.  

She also knows what it's like to really want to be a mom and have it slip through her fingers for years.  She knows what it's like to parent with the wisdom and patience that only age can bring.  She knows not to take a second of it for granted.  She has the confidence in herself to manage her many roles in life, and she knows it's okay to make some mistakes along the way.  

I don't regret how my life has played out; I'm glad I had Punky when I did.  There are challenging moments, of course, but I wouldn't change a thing.  And it was just so nice to have an honest conversation with, well, someone like me.