You have no idea how much I wish I could take back this post. I wish I never even wrote it. We had Punky back to the doctor on Thursday and it was far from routine. And I'm devastated.
She started running a fever again on Wednesday afternoon. Exactly two weeks to the hour from the last fever episode. This has been going on for months and, little by little, I detected a pattern and began to feel like something just isn't quite right. I so wanted to be wrong.
We thought there was a chance another ear infection set in so her dad called the doctor Thursday morning for an appointment. The doctor checked her over from head to toe. No ear infection. No respiratory infection. No strep throat. No sinus issues. No reason at all for the 102.4 temperature she was sporting, which was just what I suspected. I laid it all out for the doctor.
The first high fever episode was Mother's Day weekend. I did find it odd that she had no other symptoms aside from the fever but I chalked it up to a viral thing going around and didn't think much about it. She had another episode before vacation in June and she ran a slight fever for a few days on our trip. A few days after we got back, a visit to the doctor revealed another ear infection and she was on antibiotics over the Fourth of July weekend while the next high fever hit. That time she did have some vomiting and diarrhea with it. I called the doc thinking it was maybe a reaction to the meds, but they assumed it was something viral that just happened to hit at the same time. Two weekends later, the fever was back again. Just shy of two weeks later, it returned on Wednesday, August 3rd. And the most recent one this past Wednesday, again just two weeks after the previous one.
Aside from the Fourth of July weekend, she has had no other symptoms when she runs these fevers. They always start out of nowhere, run in the 102-103 range, and last about 72 hours. No sneezing. No congestion. No aches, pains, or upset tummy. She eats well, drinks well, and plays. She's not fatigued or cranky. She runs, jumps, and stands on her head all while having a fever over 102. Once I connected the dots and noticed the pattern and similarities in these episodes, I started reading all I could on the web. And it scared the hell out of me.
After the doctor's exam found no cause for her fever on Thursday, and I explained what's been happening, the doctor insisted we take her right to the hospital for blood work. I knew where she was going with it; I did my reading. Leukemia causes recurrent fevers. She wanted to see her white count right away, to rule out not only that possibility but also to see if there is an infection looming somewhere in her body.
As soon as the doctor left the room, I lost it. I regained my composure long enough to go back to work and wrap things up for the day. Her dad took her for the blood work because I couldn't hold it together. I met them back at the house afterward. The next twenty-four hours were the longest twenty-four hours I've ever experienced. I felt like my world fell apart. I could barely look at Punky without bursting into tears. How could there be something wrong with my perfect little girl?
The doctor finally called around four on Friday. Apparently the hospital's computer system was down so there was a delay in getting the results. When I saw the number come up on my cell phone, I almost threw up. I was terrified to answer it but I knew I had to. I was literally shaking when I said hello.
The doctor had good news. And bad news. Her blood counts were perfect as far as the levels and types of red, white, and platelets. It indicated that her liver and kidneys are functioning fine. "But something's wrong," the doctor said with a heavy sigh. She went on to explain that the markers in her blood that indicate inflammation are all elevated. That would've been fine if her white count revealed some type of infection, but to have inflammation without infection is not good. It points to the possibility of some really awful autoimmune disorders like lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. It also does not rule out lymphoma or other cancers. It felt like my heart shattered in my chest.
The doctor said she thinks it's best if she refers us to a pediatric rheumatologist in Rochester rather than pursuing it locally. She said a specialist will know better what to test for first and hopefully we can start eliminating possibilities from the list. She is supposed to call back this week and let us know when the appointment is scheduled.
Of course I spent the entire weekend surfing the web and reading about every autoimmune disease and cancer imaginable. And crying. Aside from the fevers, she has no other symptoms that match any of the illnesses I found but it could just be that it's in an early stage.
It's so hard to believe she could be really sick. She's a nonstop ball of energy. She eats, sleeps, and plays like she should. She never complains of any pain or discomfort. She's happy. She's, well, normal. Absolutely perfect.
So now we wait. And pray. I'm trying not to dwell on it, but it's rough. I keep tearing up when I see her sweet smile, or hear her adorable chatter, or watch her playing happily. I need to be strong for her. For all of us.
In an attempt to end this post on a less somber note, I have to say I really enjoyed the amazed look on the doctor's face when, during her checkup, Punky pointed to a poster on the wall and boldly declared, "See that picture? That's my skeleton. It's under my skin. There are two hundred and six bones in it!"
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