Given all life's crazy twists and turns lately, I am really struggling to find the time to write. And I miss it.
As the days pass I seem to encounter tons of things to write about...but when I finally find the time to sit down and type, writer's block sets in and my mind goes blank. Mentally, I've been running full speed as I try to learn my new job and get organized. When I get the chance to relax and wind down, I can't pull any thoughts together. My brain goes into siesta mode, I can't focus on anything, and I end up choosing to sleep over posting.
On top of writing, I also miss having time to read blogs. I've gotten way behind on ones I normally follow, plus I miss just browsing through in search of new ones. I can't keep a handle on my own life right now, let alone keep track of other people's.
As long as I've covered reading and writing, I may as well throw in some math. I was never a math girl. This new job involves way too much math for my taste. And it makes my head spin.
I was only in the second grade when I realized math wouldn't be my cup of tea. The first time I saw a multiplication table my head hurt. I wasn't grasping it. The concept eluded me. Finally after much patience on the part of my teacher, something clicked and my brain caught up to the rest of the class.
In fifth grade, long division earned this previously straight-A student her first "C" on a test. It was completely over my head and made no sense at all. My parents happened to be remodeling our basement at the time, so my dad tried to help on the newly-hung drywall. Some day in the future, someone will buy that house, remove the paneling, and wonder why the hell there are huge long division problems all over the walls. In permanent black marker nonetheless. But it helped.
Junior high brought the wonderful world of algebra. Although I managed to get good grades, I really struggled to understand and absolutely hated it. But junior high also introduced something I could get my head around easily: foreign languages. Obviously, the left side of my brain was winning the intelligence war. And the right side napped a lot.
In high school I chose to skip calculus. I knew it would be a waste of my time as well as the teacher's. I already knew I would never be on any career path that required that knowledge. I opted for prob and stat instead and I have to say it was a much better choice given that it was a required course in college and I breezed right through it headache free.
I filled my college curriculum with as many language classes as I could. My B.A. is in Spanish but I also studied Italian and German. Electives were filled with writing and literature courses when available. To my utter surprise, public speaking ended up being one of my favorite classes. The actual speaking part not so much, but writing the speeches was fantastic.
Of course, all jobs require some math skills and I've always held my own, but for some reason it seems to be overwhelming me at the moment in this new position. It's probably just related to the fast pace of the job and trying to re-train my self to function in that type of role. I just feel easily confused, like my head is never clear...like somewhere in the background a heavy metal band is banging away every time I try to focus. And the right side of my brain still won't wake up through all the damn noise.
I am so looking forward to reaching the point where life settles down again. I want to read. I want to write. And I want my dad to take down the basement paneling, paint over the old math, and fill the walls with linear feet to square feet conversions instead. I don't think my new boss would appreciate me doing it in my office.
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