Back Home and Alone

Punky and I went home again for the weekend.  I had today off from work, and the drive home and all the packing/unpacking is worth it for a three day weekend.

It was rather uneventful, which was fine with me.  We hung out with family and relaxed.  Sometimes it's just nice to go home.  There's no place like it...

The only downfall to going home is the sadness I feel after leaving again.  I miss being close to family and friends.  I get so lonely up here at times.  Yeah, I have Punky, and she definitely is wonderful company, but he and I work opposite shifts all the time and never spend any time together.  The one week we are on the same shift every month, my mom is here to watch Punky for us.

Don't get me wrong, it's my favorite week of the month.  I miss being close to my mom.  We used to hang out all the time.  We would go out for dinner almost every Friday.  I hate that she's so far away now and I can't just get in the car visit whenever I want.

When I moved here almost two years ago, I was definitely ready for a change.  Aside from some time at college (I only lived on campus two semesters and commuted the rest), and the few months in Spain, I lived in the same small town my whole life.  I wanted out...to start over somewhere new and try a different life for a while.  It was only five months later that Punky was on her way.  Now things are different.  I wish we could be closer to family, especially for her sake.

Sometimes I ponder going back home for good.  He wouldn't go for that though.  His family is here.  His boys are here.  This is his home town.  We both have good-paying jobs here.  And a new house.  Maybe in a few years, once his second son finishes school, we can consider making a move. 

I just get so lonely.  I feel like I am missing so much, and my family is missing out on seeing Punky grow.  I guess seeing them every few weeks isn't so bad; it could be worse, we could be across the country.  But it's the everyday moments that make the best memories, the best stories, the times you cherish the rest of your life...