This Time of Year

I hate it.

Well, part of me likes it. A small part.

But I mostly hate it.

The beautiful fall foliage, the crispness in the air, the return of soft plush robes and flannel jammies, and the smell of stew in the crockpot… October brings many pleasing sensory indulgences, but it’s hard to enjoy them when I know what’s lurking beyond…

I get so depressed knowing that winter is looming around the corner. The freezing cold. The snow. The ice. The mud that follows a recent melt. Filthy floors from tracking the mess inside. Heating bills. Lack of daylight. Risking my life driving in a blizzard just to get a paycheck. Coughs and colds. Blah, blah blah…

Last year it wasn’t so bad. We had just moved into our new house in September. I was securely in my third trimester and anxiously awaiting Punky’s arrival at the end of the year. My baby shower was in mid October, and the weeks immediately following were filled with the preparation of the nursery. I had so many doctor appointments cluttering up my schedule. Life was busy, and everything was centered on being ready for baby.

I knew that I would be home…warm, safe, and sound…in the worst part of the winter with my newborn baby girl. I could care less about the shitty weather that was coming (although it did make for a long ride to the hospital in the middle of the night when I was in labor). The thought of the pending winter really didn’t depress me last year. There was too much excitement in the air.

Now this year, that feeling of shear dread is back again. I was doing well. I hadn’t thought much about it, until I had to scrape my car windows yesterday morning. Grrrr. I can barely stand the thought of it. In some ways it’s worse than ever before since I already struggle every day with wanting to stay home with Punky and not being able to afford it. Add snow, ice, and over an hour commute home in bad weather and I will be downright miserable.

I suppose I should try to look at the good things headed our way. After all, we will have Punky’s first Halloween…she’s going to be an elephant (yeah, my silly choice)…and her first Thanksgiving…her first Christmas (she missed it by three days last year)…then her first birthday (that’s as sad as it is exciting). So many “firsts” hanging on the horizon…but come the new year, we’ll be left with at least three more months of awful weather. Sigh.

If anyone needs an idea for Punky’s first birthday present, she would like an all-inclusive ticket to a warm, tropical destination, for about two weeks in either January or February. Please choose a hotel with a kiddie pool, and ask for a room with a crib. Some place with lots of music would be ideal since she loves to shake her hiney. Of course, she needs someone along to carry her, feed her, and change her diapers since she hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet (those velcro-like tabby things are a bitch). So don’t forget to include a ticket for her mama…or she won’t be allowed to go.