Now We Have a Mama!

And she meant it, too. It’s no longer a fluke; she knows what she’s saying.

When Punky is ready for bed, she lets us know. She’ll be playing one minute, smiling and happy, and the next minute she is cranky and crying. This sudden transformation in mood usually occurs between eight and nine p.m., depending on how/when the day’s naps were (or weren’t in some cases). Saturday night was no different. Happy one minute, crying and clinging to me the next.

As I rushed to get her bottle ready, something caught my ear. In her cries, it sounded like she was intentionally calling out for me. I asked my mom if she heard what I heard and she agreed. I took Punky in her room for a final diaper change and all the while she was crying “mmaa mmmaaa” in such a heart wrenching, pitiful tone. It brought tears to my eyes.

She took her bottle and fell asleep in my arms. I absolutely hate putting her down when she does that. I just want to stay on the rocker and hold her all night. I fought the urge and put her in her crib. I still wasn’t fully convinced she really meant what she was saying, until she woke up crying a half hour later.

There she was, standing up in her crib, staring at the door, and yelling “mama” as clear as a bell. That sealed the deal for me. It also made me decide it is a touch of separation anxiety she is experiencing at night. She wanted me and she knew how to call for me. It is real; she can say mama. I waited nine and a half months to hear it, and it was the sweetest sound I ever heard and more precious than I ever imagined. I have heard it several times since, and my eyes fill with tears each time.

Mama.

That’s me.

Somehow, hearing her say it created a whole new reality. I’ve felt like her mother since the moment I found out she was cooking. Now I feel like her mom.

Her mama.