My job is one thing I've kept out of this blog thus far, but I need to work through something that happened today and I hope writing will help.
I started with my current company about two and a half years ago. Punky's dad and I had been dating quite a while, but since we lived 150 miles apart we were lucky to see each other one weekend a month. Moving in together meant my relocation which was completely understandable. He didn't want to move that far away from his sons and I totally respected his decision. That's all part of being a good dad.
Finding a job in this area was difficult to say the least. It's everything you'd imagine "Hickville" to be and there's not much industry here. A lengthy commute was certainly in my future. I sent a few resumes but heard no response until I enlisted the help of an agency. They quickly found an opportunity for me and I was thrilled with the prospect. A small, local company in business for about 125 years. Stable. Great reputation in the community. Good starting salary. I couldn't have asked for more.
I originally applied for one position (A), but was asked if I would consider also interviewing for another (B) availble opening in the company. In reviewing my resume, someone determined I could be a great match for position B which they were having trouble filling due to a lack of qualified applicants. Of course I was thrilled to have both opportunities; it upped my chances of getting hired.
My interview for position A was incredible. I've said many times it was the best interview I ever had. We seemed to click right from the start. By the end of the interview we were finishing each other's sentences. I thought he'd be a great boss; we seemed so on-the-same-page about everything. His comments at the end of the interview echoed my thoughts. I so wanted that job!
Then his final comment took me by surprise and left me feeling empty. He said he needed to tell me that if the person hiring for position B was even remotely interested in me for that position, he would be trumped from offering me this one. Ouch.
The interviews for position B were rather lengthy, from a peer interview, to a VP, to the company president herself. They went well but I still wanted the other position. After a multitude of personality profiles and miscellaneous tests, I was offered position B. Damn. It wasn't what I hoped for but it was the job I needed to relocate.
The first few months were awful. I couldn't understand why they were so rushed to fill the position because I was bored more than I was working. The days were dragging. My self-esteem was in the gutter because I felt so...unproductive. I started looking for another opportunity and realized position A was still open. In a bold move, I asked my boss to consider letting me re-interview and possibly move to that position.
No dice. She wouldn't let me go. She told me that I was so over-qualified for that job and I'd be bored to tears. I had so many skills that wouldn't be utilized in that position. It was better to stay where I was...
A month later I found out I was pregnant. Needless to say, I stayed where I was. I was in no position to look for a new job at that point. I needed the insurance for what was bound to be a rocky pregnancy. Starting over wasn't an option.
Over the next two years my current position grew on me, but it wasn't until maybe the last six months or so that I really began to like it. I was busy, finally. I was working on multiple diverse projects at the same time. I was finally feeling a sense of satisfaction with my work again. I was finally doing what they hired me to do...
Today they told me they are eliminating my position. Although it is still technically needed, with the current economic situation and the loss of some major customers in the last year it has been bumped to the bottom of the list.
The real kick in the ass? They are moving me to position A. The one I originally wanted. The one my boss swore up and down I was over-qualified for many times over the last two years. The one I no longer want. Sigh.
I just spent two months working on a project that directly involves that position. I have been observing the current occupant. Watching what he does, how he does, and why he does everything. I've been analyzing everything from data, to the current computer system, to the administrative aspects, to the procedures or lack thereof. I can honestly say it's a huge mess and I really don't want that job. And now I'm stuck with it.
And as an added bonus, in the next few days the guy I had been observing, analyzing, questioning, and documenting will find out that I am taking his job and I get to look like the biggest asshat on the planet. He's going to think this was planned all along, and even though I had no knowledge this was going to happen I'll still feel like I screwed him over somehow. He was just telling me yesterday how much he likes his job. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
At least he will still have a job. They are moving him back to the department he originally worked in with the company. But I know it will be of little consolation to him. I don't want to move either but I simply cannot afford to quit, and chances are they would still move him back to his old job even if I did.
I am not looking forward to the next couple of days. Or what lies beyond for that matter.
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